Deciding to have sex for the first time is a big step! It's totally normal to have a ton of thoughts and questions running through your head. We're here to give you the lowdown on what to expect so you can feel prepared and empowered.
Understanding Your Body During Sex
The first time you have sex, you might feel more out of breath, sweaty, and flushed than usual – this is normal! Your vulva may get slightly swollen too since more blood flows down there during sex, kind of like when you flush after a workout. Don't stress, your body will go back to normal soon after.
Some women are born with a hymen, a thin membrane inside the vagina. This can potentially stretch or tear during first-time sex and cause a little bleeding. But bleeding isn't guaranteed to happen! You may have already ruptured your hymen before having sex, from using tampons, for instance.
If you do bleed, it's often very light and goes away fast. Using a tampon made for light days or laying a dark towel down can prevent staining if it continues.
Is It Going to Hurt?
Pain and discomfort are common worries about first-time sex. While you may feel some discomfort since it's new, being relaxed and aware of your body can help minimise it. Making sure to get aroused with lots of foreplay and use lube can make things way more comfortable and smooth. Lube is a clutch for avoiding too much friction!
What About Period Sex?
Having sex during your period is often seen as taboo, but it's actually pretty common - there's no reason to feel weird about getting frisky on your period!
Period sex comes with some unique benefits; the feel-good hormones released during an orgasm like endorphins can help relieve menstrual cramps and ease other PMS symptoms. Increased blood flow to your pelvic area can also temporarily soothe cramps.Plus, your flow often lightens during arousal and sex itself. This makes it easier to avoid stains on the sheets. Using a menstrual cup can also catch any blood that comes out. Just be sure to empty it first!
As far as mess goes, laying down a towel is an easy solution. Stick to darker sheets too. If you're shy about visible blood, having sex in the shower or bath can help rinse things off.
The most important thing is clear communication with your partner. Make sure you both enthusiastically consent to period sex. Be open about your comfort levels with things like oral sex too. Providing feedback during the act can help you both have the best experience possible. Don't feel pressured to do it. There's nothing wrong with skipping sex on heavy-flow days or when you're feeling crummy. But if you're down to get down during your period, go for it! With a little preparation, it can be just as enjoyable as sex on any other day of the month.
Easing Anxiety for Your First Time
- Communication is crucial. Talk honestly with your partner about your feelings, boundaries, and expectations. Make sure you're on the same page and both enthusiastically consent. Ask questions and share concerns so you feel safe and understood.
- Consent is essential. Both people need to eagerly agree to any sexual activity. If someone wants to stop at any time, you immediately stop. Ongoing consent is so important for an awesome experience.
- Expect a mix of emotions, from excitement to nervousness. Check in with yourself and communicate with your partner about how you both feel. Connecting emotionally can make it more intimate and strengthen your bond.
- Take care of your body after: pee, clean up, and stay hydrated. If you're using condoms, make sure to handle them properly for safe disposal. Post-sex self-care prevents infections and keeps you feeling great.
The bottom line
Embarking on the journey of having sex for the first time is a personal choice that should be made with care and consideration. By keeping these tips in mind, you can approach this experience with confidence and awareness.
Join us for more empowering discussions and explore our range of period products and resources at DAME. We're here to support you every step of the way!